2. Unrelated to this, my domain registrar sends out notification to everyone that my domains point to dyndns.org. They don't. I disappear from the Internet.
3. Work pages me to help them manage users on Mac OS X on the command line which is mind-bogglingly stupid and complex. Thank you, NextStep. Thank you, NetInfo. FUCK YOU, STEVE.
4. I call support for #2 and it says they're close and leave a message, but instead I get hold music and can't leave a message. I then leave an email support request marked SUPER FUCKING URGENT YOU FUCKS and get a call back to my cell later, which I can't answer because T-Mobile's coverage includes all of California except my house. They don't leave a message.
5. GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR FUCKING WAR. DO YOU SPEAK IT, MOTHERFUCKER?