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The American Caliban

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Can't make love to the girls in this town [Apr. 22nd, 2005|04:44 pm]
The American Caliban
[Current Music |Wall Of Voodoo-Can't Make Love]

This is the weekend that I shall become one or more of:
  • A huge yet nimble insectoid creature, mantis-like in appearance, with serrated mandibles and forelegs, dripping with caustic goo, that lives only to rend humans limb from limb.

  • A charismatic street preacher whose exhortations to "Live as though you were already in HELL!" fill the air at gas stations, grocery stores, and open-air restaurants throughout the county.

  • A serial murderer of drywall contractors whose crimes include jigsaw pieces left in each victim's mouth; the pieces, as assembled by the detectives, are slowly revealing a face. But whose?

  • The only non Chinese member of the Communist Party's Central Coordinating Committee in Beijing.

  • Chewbacca.

  • The world's leading collector of pre 1989 Soviet and Eastern Bloc gay pornography.

  • Mary Baker Eddy.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: nosrialleon
2005-04-23 12:51 am (UTC)
When do you leave for the not-so-great and not-so-white north?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: substitute
2005-04-23 06:15 am (UTC)
May 1, day before the Go4 show.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bruisedhips
2005-04-23 12:55 am (UTC)
Please maintain chewbacca status through may 6th kthnx.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: do_not_lick
2005-04-23 01:02 am (UTC)
Do we get to vote?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mr_flippant
2005-04-23 01:52 am (UTC)
Chewbacca!

What a wookie!
(Reply) (Thread)
From: besskeloid
2005-04-23 10:37 pm (UTC)
SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE.
(Reply) (Thread)