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The American Caliban

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From Oakley's web site [Jan. 31st, 2003|04:14 pm]
The American Caliban
[Current Mood |amused]
[Current Music |Big Star - In The Street]

They make really good sunglasses, but come on, guys:

The world's first optical frame to incorporate ultra-lightweight magnesium metal within a ceramic mantle. Liquefied at 1100°F, the performance alloy is injected into precision engineered molds within a timeframe of less than 30 milliseconds. Sealing the metal in a protective ceramic mantle requires a turbine that rotates at 60,000 rpm in order to disperse ceramic polymer nanoparticles. For a secure and comfortable fit, the new frame will include spring-hinge mechanisms, as well as Unobtainium® nosebombs and earsocks. Flex couplers are incorporated at strategic points in the frame geometry, tuning flexibility while retaining structural integrity. The end result is a metal frame that meets the durability requirements of sports professionals while offering all-day comfort by minimizing weight.


For all that I expect a BMW engine in my $150 sunglasses.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: fg
2003-01-31 04:30 pm (UTC)
hahaha. Unobtainium®??

i love how companies make up the stupidest names for stuff.

if i ever manufacture something, it's going to have the latest manufacturing methods using TOTALLYFREAKINCOOLIUM®!!

"Sealing the metal in a protective ceramic mantle requires a turbine that rotates at 60,000 rpm in order to disperse ceramic polymer nanoparticles"

means:

"WE SPRAY IT WITH CRAP."
(Reply) (Thread)
From: uninvention
2003-01-31 06:39 pm (UTC)
man, nosebombs and earsocks!

not to insult your fashion sense, but i think most of their stuff is just kind of goofy. like it's supposed to look futuristic, and would succeed were we living in 1982.

i mean, what?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: substitute
2003-01-31 06:44 pm (UTC)

yeah

the over the top ones are strictly for people who play drums in "nu metal" bands, or sell drugs to snowboarders.

I like their more basic wraparound glasses because they are really good at keeping the sun out of my eyes while I'm driving,though.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2003-01-31 06:50 pm (UTC)
that sounds like the crap i had to spew out for that site selling motorcyle parts, not sunglasses... weird...
(Reply) (Thread)