A friend of mine is on the board of his condo association and therefore gets to deal with everyone in a very large condo complex. Some of them are quite odd. And then there's this guy with his security suggestion:
From: To: Cc: Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 3:18 PM Subject: crime and punishment
Mr. [ ] Since we will no longer have a patrol force,who will look after the "low-lifes" who are constantly parking in front of their abodes,allowing their dogs to leave their calling cards everywhere,playing loud music,having all kinds of "parties" on the weekends,allowing their offspring to run their skateboards,bikes,motorized toys all over our streets. What about the loud motorcycles,or the eventual illegal drug use and business,that will be attracted to our village. Law enforcement is only good -"after-the-fact". My suggestion is that we start a modified neighborhood watch program, not unlike the vigilante programs of the past. Accept no excuses.All scuflaws will receive punishment,immediately. We will dessignate a "tree-of woe" in a convenient location,where the maximum number of "good neighbors" can watch, and if they so desire to even participate. All scuflaws,their spouses,their offspring,and the foul creatures that created them [parents] will be stripped naked,chained to "the tree",and whipped. Number of lashes will be determined by the attending throng of the law-abiding citizens. The "plan" is to purchase a number of AK-47's,with the large capacity magazines,approximately 5000 rounds of ammunition,the whips and chains can be had at any of the fun-sex boutiques,black hoods are available at any costume store and the horses are available at the stable on the corner of Moulton and ElToro blvd. Almost forgot,the flaming torches can be had at HomeDepot,or similar store. Can you imagine the terror on the faces of the "pond-scum" as they peer out their windows and see some black-hooded. justice seekers on horseback armed with the aforementioned AK-47's, whips and chains,and blazing torches? "Oh,the horror",quote from the movie Apocalipse Now.. What other plans have been submitted?