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The American Caliban

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This is the fault of joyfulagitator [Jan. 26th, 2005|07:10 pm]
The American Caliban
See, pizza is good. We all like it! It has a crust with tasty fatty salty things on it. Mmm. But it’s not quite enough. We need it to have more fatty salty things on it! Maybe we could make Pizza Ice Cream! Or a Pizzuccino Mocha.

No, I’ve got it!

We’ll make Dippin’ Strips so you can dip the pizza in other things!

Mmm. Pepperoni pizza dipped in ranch dressing. Can I get that bacon-wrapped?

[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2005-01-27 03:24 am (UTC)
okay, i admit it. i dip pizza in ranch dressing... always. however, the pizza i eat usually has spinach on it instead of pepperoni, does that make up for it...?

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From: samiamrex
2005-01-27 05:43 am (UTC)
me, pizza, and ranch dressing go way back. WAY. and it doesn't matter what kinda pie either.

chomp chomp.
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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2005-01-27 05:57 am (UTC)
ditto, ranch and pizza i thought, was sorta a given. i just don't do meat... so spinach is a common replacement.

yes though, ranch & pizza are meant to be together.
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[User Picture]From: onda_dog
2005-01-27 03:24 am (UTC)
Deep fried pizza is on its way, I just have a feeling
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[User Picture]From: brianenigma
2005-01-27 03:43 am (UTC)
Mmmmm... deep fried candy bars on a stick.
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[User Picture]From: hexennacht
2005-01-27 03:32 am (UTC)
Mmmmm. I vow that once a month I will order this.
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[User Picture]From: nosrialleon
2005-01-27 03:35 am (UTC)
and a stick of butter, please.
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[User Picture]From: wearekim
2005-01-27 03:39 am (UTC)
When I eat pizza (which is a rare occasion indeed) I usually eat the pizza, then dip the crust into ranch! Of course, Pizza Hut is like the bottom of the nasty pizza chains, so chances are I won't be partaking of this!

However, what's to keep me from simply cutting up my own pizza into "pseudo-strips" and dipping them into some form of greasy sauce instead of paying the same price for a multiple topping large pizza?

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[User Picture]From: trinnit
2005-01-27 01:54 pm (UTC)
Copyright :) Pizza Hut will sue you for using their idea.
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[User Picture]From: brianenigma
2005-01-27 03:46 am (UTC)
Ranch dressing makes everything better! ...except for maybe amputations and cancer-of-the-puppy.

On second thought, depending on what was amputated, it might make good finger food to dip in ranch dressing.
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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2005-01-27 03:50 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: so_gracefully
2005-01-27 03:58 am (UTC)
well, that's the way elvis would have wanted it.

(i have just seen multiple commercials for that dipping pizza today, and have to say i really couldn't figure out how to connect pizza with ranch dressing. i guess you have to have experienced it to understand it...?)
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[User Picture]From: frobisher
2005-01-27 05:03 am (UTC)
Really, the logical conclusion is that you should dip them in radioactive lard.
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[User Picture]From: citizenx
2005-01-27 05:20 am (UTC)

Nobody has mentioned this

The sauce containers are color-coded, as are the names in the ad. However, there is no white container or green word.

What does this mean?
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[User Picture]From: mr_flippant
2005-01-27 05:28 am (UTC)

I am eating this right now...

Our winter warmer is on an olive oil sauce with marinated chicken, roasted rosemary potatoes, red onions, mozzarella cheese, kasseri cheese, and a dash of crushed red-chili pepper flakes and dried basil, finished with a sprinkle of fresh parsley.

It is perfect just the way it is.
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[User Picture]From: autodidactic
2005-01-27 05:40 am (UTC)

fatty fatty two by four

Mmmmm. The next best thing to batter-fried batter.

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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2005-01-27 08:15 am (UTC)

Re: fatty fatty two by four

batter-fried batter, in new hampshire they call it "fried dough"

the whole concept of it is disgusting, but this is coming from a girl who hasn't been able to eat pizza without ranch dressing for at least a decade.

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From: yoscott
2005-01-27 05:43 am (UTC)
Ladies and Gentlemen, do I hear a nomination for Chicken Fried Pizza?
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[User Picture]From: the_silent_one
2005-01-27 06:24 am (UTC)

I say cut out the middle man

Why not substitute ranch dressing for the sauce on the pizza?

I think it's disgusting, but it will probably be the next "phase"
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[User Picture]From: guerramondragon
2005-01-27 06:43 am (UTC)


that looks so. good.
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[User Picture]From: sixteen_shells
2005-01-27 08:47 am (UTC)
Papa John's has been giving you dipping sauces with their pizza for a while now. I wish they'd just give little packets of salty Crisco, but I'll settle for their cups of garlic butter for now.

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[User Picture]From: leolo
2005-01-27 04:34 pm (UTC)

"french" cooking

Here's a mock-french recipe my bro and I concocted in our youth:

     1 lbs Butter
Wrap it with
     Lots of bacon
Dust with flour and fry until crispy.  
Serve with a heavy cream sauce.
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From: maddox_84
2005-01-31 02:54 am (UTC)
California Pizza Kitchen has already concocted a pizza that includes ranch in it (Tostada Pizza) as well as various other disgusting things to be on your pizza or to dip them in. Tomatillo salsa (Carne Asada Pizza), mango chutney (Tandoori Chicken Pizza), mayo (California Club Pizza), dijon balsamic dressing (Tricolore Pizza), Cilantro Pesto (Carne Asada), not to mention the pounds of meat on the Sicilian, the sour cream, guac, and salsa that top our Santa Fe Chicken Pizza... the list goes on and it makes my stomach churn just thinking about it. But people order it, and they like it!
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