The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban
substitute

Stewardess, I speak horny lush!

I entered the parking lot with some difficulty because of young drunk people in mating mode staggering about. This is because parts of the grocery store parking lot are used for the local bad meat market bar on busy nights. To make sure that the young drunk people only park in the appropriate spaces, a security guard is stationed there.

Tonight's guard was the stereotypical tall wide bald phlegmatic black man. I think that certain types of security guys must by law be bald as well as huge. As I pulled up, he was reminding some giddy ugg-boot girls in a convertible Mustang to park further down in the lot. He had to say it three times before they comprehended and buzzed off.

I said "You must hear yourself saying that in your sleep". He replied "This job is all about repetition".

"Drunk people," I said, "are your business. And drunk people require a lot of repetition".

He nodded and looked thoughtful. "I have learned Drunkenese at this job!" he announced happily.
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