|it's an imitation counterfeit
||[Mar. 10th, 2004|10:36 pm]
The American Caliban
I betray others; others betray me. The cock crows three times and I’m Christ and Peter both. And so are you, so are you. |
I realized the other day that my worst weakness is my hatred of weakness, in myself and others. What to do?
realitylost is a kind of saint because she gives me Half a Food, often. Thanks Susie.
My dreams lately are full of the worst emotional experiences: beloved family members despising me and openly deriding me, deadly diseases, terrible mistakes, friends in great distress. Sleep was never so stressful. But then, you know, the rest of the day is somewhat similar if less ornately horrible.
I have added yet another medical professional to my life; I have become interesting, it seems.
After these warm sunny days lately the fog rushes in like an angry linebacker and the temperature drops 30 degrees and everyone is surprised, although this happens every year.
Tonight on the patio I was in the middle of a gaggle of teens and 20somethings, nice enough kids mostly. I remember despising most of them a while back, but there’s a big difference between 17 and 20.
My irrational self - you know, the one that’s in charge - believes that I am cursed for life to offer myself to those who don’t want me.
Read any good books lately?