The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban
substitute

  • Mood:
  • Music:

two turntables and a Sousaphone

Death of a Hard Drive

Today I have had to eat: one glass milk, one small package Hostess Donettes (glazed). I believe I shall have a real dinner soon.

Notice to people crossing the street in front of my car. Please follow the bullet points below to avoid your death.

  • Do not wave lamely while you step in front of me as I travel at 50 mph down Olympic Boulevard. I do not acknowledge your wave. I kill you in the head.
  • Do not either trot across at barely over walking speed in front of me, in a corpulent and slack imitation of "running". I do not acknowledge your symbolic hurrying that is not hurrying. I kill you in the head.
  • Furthermore, do not do that exaggerated "girl running" thing that makes women or men look like a hilarious parody of a drag queen. It amuses me not, and it is not hurrying either. I kill you in the head.
  • Do not attempt to use your baby carriage as a shield. The innocent will die with the guilty. See Laurie Anderson's bit about french traffic and babies for full explanation.
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