The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban

  • Mood:

In their eyes there's something lacking / What they need's a SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE

I picked up an issue of the throwaway Orange County rag at D’s tonight and looked through the ads. There was lots of great stuff for people who have money and want to feel like they also have that elusive thing: class. For example:
  • A real estate company advertising that their development (very expensive) had “pure panache”.

  • A dating service for “gorgeous women and upscale men” that is having a private ”lingerie fashion show” at the Ritz at which all the models are guaranteed to be single, available, and registered with the agency.

  • A cosmetic surgeon who will provide you with “French Pouty Lips” for $250 (Freedom Lips?)

  • Another surfer-businessman OC LAMER

  • Corporate Comedy!

  • The previously mentioned-in-LJ “Model Quality Introductions” which got me my best spit take ever*

  • Inappropriate, gratuitous, and risibly horrible use of words like “plantation”.

  • A spray tanning system called “High Pressure Destiny” that “Gives unbelievable results: FAST!”

  • An article about a tennis player named “Stephi Graph” (maybe her family invented the paper?)

  • This asshole

There’s more, but I think I’m burnt out now.

*When I was giving bruisedhips the skinny on Model Quality Introductions the other night I uttered their closer phrase: “After the initial date, if the chemistry is mutual, you can start a relationship then and there.” And she showered the patio with tea. Best spit take ever.
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