June 12th, 2004

bigmouse ignatz

the more upmarket caryatid will have a roughened or distressed stone-like finish

I had my web cam up earlier and I had a cast iron blimp on my head. Y’all missed out.

Today was almost a day, but not quite. I’m very nervous and anxious about work, because I need to get stuff done to avoid letting other people down and being a jerk, and it’s been difficult for me for unknown reasons. Usually I don’t get blocked or neurotic about work tasks and I’m alarmed.

Tonight on the patio all the worst people were there. Plus me and odradak. The Loomer and his buddies, including the young man in a wheelchair who may be his son, showed up, sat down and began solving world problems. The loud drunk bartender returned as well tonight but was somewhat restrained.

And of course Bible Mike! He showed up with too many papers and things and immediately launched in a blaringly loud cellphone conversation. He is one of the best Unreliable Narrators I’ve seen. From his end of the conversation it seemed that he’d been in a church group and began lecturing them, and they weren’t interested, and he got loud, and the pastor’s wife told him to leave. He kept telling his friend that he is just a slave! It’s God doing it all! Sometimes his lungs and mouth are used to rebuke people! His face got more than usually red. He also wanted his friend to write a song, JUST ONE SONG, YOU CAN DO THAT! ANYONE CAN WRITE ONE SONG! COME ON, EVEN I COULD!

One really messed-up thing about evangelical christian culture is the idea that violent opposition from others implies that your doctrine and your behavior are correct. The rhymed advice says: “You’re on the right track when you’re under attack”. Now I do understand that prophets and saints are reviled more often than not, and that at times one must be strong to keep one’s spirituality against the disapproval of mistaken people. But, you know, sometimes when everyone is yelling at you to shut the heck up it’s because you’re being a tiresome boob and not a prophet. “Under attack” can mean “boy do you have the wrong end of the stick, son” too.

i heard Coldplay in the drugstore while buying stuff. This put me in a blue mood because 1) I don’t like that band and 2) they remind me of a slice of my life that I’d like to slice out.
  • Current Music
    Cecil Taylor - Song