I know a guy who was hit by a VERY HOT ASPHALT TRUCK. The VERY HOT ASPHALT poured into the car and burnt him all over, necessitating VERY MANY SURGERIES and a VERY LARGE LAWSUIT. He used the VERY CONSIDERABLE PAYOUT to build an EXTREMELY LARGE CLASSIC MACINTOSH COLLECTION.
This is a true story and you are right to be afraid.
Macintosh the raincoat, the audio amplifier or the computer? Any of these would be sad in its own way.
wow, wouldn;t it be sweet to have a collection of macintosh amps?
All draped in macintoshes!
The ending of that story seems kind of sad to me. But maybe I am just ignorant of classic macintoshes.
This entry, on the other hand, is the best thing I have read on LJ for many, many moons. Thank you for writing it. I feel like I have a field guide to the 880 now, though luckily not for the 580, which does not allow trucks. Well, it would allow some of these smaller death trucks.
880 also had a *literal* death truck which was that coffin company truck which had a sign on it with some irony about what would happen if you fail to drive carefully around trucks, if I recall correctly.
2009-08-28 07:08 am (UTC)
Batesville Casket Company
"Drive carefully: Heaven can wait"
2009-08-28 08:44 am (UTC)
Re: Batesville Casket Company
That one, yeah.
What about the trucks filled with pebbles that go all over the place? Or the gardener trucks with lawnmowers and gas cans that fly off.
What, you don't get the radioactive waste trucks in your neck of the woods? And those enormous cylinder trucks are death on a stick, too: they could have milk in them and still be very ominous.
This post is awesome. I laughed so hard, I woke up the cat. I don't want to be street, either.
In a way milk trucks are the scariest cylinder trucks. Other liquid carriers generally have baffles in them to stop the fluid from surging around demonstrating newtonian physics calamitously. Milk haulers don't have baffles because it makes it impossible to completely sterilize the inside.
I have a fear of ice cream trucks because the last neighborhood I was in, our local ice cream truck would show up in the middle of the night, stay on for hours, and then be followed by gunshots.
My ex had a family member go in a related way - he was driving a car behind a truck with a bed full of large uncut tree logs. One came loose and flew backwards into the car... ugh. To this day I am still nervous being behind Trucks Carrying Objects That Might Not Be Secure.
I definitely think "Truck Carrying Logs That Seek Revenge" should be on this list.
That trucker's love is in league with the freeway.
I consider anyone driving a U-haul or equivalent as death truck material. It's often the first time the driver has driven anything of that size.
Unfortunately, I bet that these guys have a safety record that starts to approach infinity when compared with the real menace - the 17 year old with 3 friends in the car and a cell phone.
also logging trucks and trucks carrying pipe
also amateur or smallish trucks that have pipe or 2 by 4s delicately secured to the top of their rigs
oh yes, and u-hauls
but of course when youre on a bike all trucks are death trucks.....
Death trucks are among the many things that cause me to discourage brainflak
from getting a motorcycle.
The ones that scare me most are the small pick-up trucks with surfboards set in the bed so that the tail of the board is on the floor up near the cab and the point of the board is propped up on the hatch. More often than not, the surfer dude driving has not secured the board in any way, and the board is aimed right at my head. One unexpected bump, and I'm going to be sushi, and with all the pot-smoke billowing out of the cab, I don't have much faith in surfer dude's ability to avoid road hazards.
A good friend lived on the linear asymptote of a startlingly acute curve in the railroad tracks, and would sit on his back porch, 40 feet from the tracks, watching the trains rattle along the curve with their inner wheels kinda bouncing up off the rails. This was never as thrilling as when the huge tank cars labeled EDIBLE TALLOW thundered around that bend.
Or inedible pork plasma!
conrad this was the best!