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Updated guidelines, initiatives, and talking points - A Shout Out to My Pepys [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The American Caliban

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Updated guidelines, initiatives, and talking points [Aug. 22nd, 2009|01:09 am]
The American Caliban
[Current Location |Newport Beach, CA]
[Current Mood |tired]


It's time again to review. Let's all stay focused on the issues and talking points listed below, and be sure to bring them up early and often and push the point home. In particular let's remember to use the exact phrases the Department has issued. While it may seem tempting to "freestyle," remember to stick to the carefully prepared ideas and presentations below. Here are the current initiatives:

  • Militarization of chiropractors

  • NAFTA and Clamato: Why Chelada means we have failed

  • Infiltration of family restaurants by homosexualists

  • GPS tracking of at-risk juveniles: unqualified boon, or pork-barrel windfall giveaway?

  • Federal caps on mercury and arsenic content will take water from the elderly. Speak out now!

  • The urgent necessity of school uniforms for university students

  • Private entomology companies can make a difference

  • Premium branded snack and leisure foods and the increasing Chinese threat

As always, thanks for your 110% cooperation. We need to be loud and clear and unified on these points to make the most impact on the issues threatening our families.

[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2009-08-22 08:48 am (UTC)
So... if we have school uniforms for university students, does that mean I get to see less chicks in denim mini skirts and ugg boots, or that I will have to buy some?
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2009-08-22 09:10 am (UTC)
There are many plans and a few on the table for considering on a going-forward basis. Currently the most prominent possibilities include an orange jumpsuit with a sparkly helmet, a terrycloth bathrobe, or yellow-and-black striped Dickies.
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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2009-08-22 09:17 am (UTC)
My vote is for bathrobe. It just seems like the most logical.
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[User Picture]From: jakeinhartsel
2009-08-22 03:26 pm (UTC)
I believe that yopu have single handedly figured out the modern political process.

I wonder if the Mayflower is making a return trip any time soon?
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From: threepunchstuff
2009-08-22 05:46 pm (UTC)
Let's touch base when we regroup. I'm going to need an ETA on the chiropractor issue. And I do mean a Basque separatist.
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[User Picture]From: eris_devotee
2009-08-22 06:04 pm (UTC)
If we arm the chiropractors, aren't we concerned that the podiatrists will step up their efforts to produce weapons-grade orthopedic enhancements? Perhaps they can be assuaged if we expand their territory to include wrists.
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[User Picture]From: odradak
2009-08-22 09:11 pm (UTC)
I DEMAND you acknowledge the anxiety I currently have about what SOMEBODY on the TV told me all about RE: the INSIDIOUS THREAT of RED PATHOGENS carried by the USPS as step ONE in a SEVEN STEP PLAN implemented by THE LEFT to halt THE RETURN OF HANK. They want my money, THEY AIN'T GETTING IT.
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