The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban
substitute

Persiflage in the third degree

We came up with a number of good bad ideas tonight. I missed something about "Liquid Vinyl" before I showed up, but I thought that we could sell:

1) Attack hippos. Hippos are naturally aggressive, big, and like pools of water. Perfect for guarding the homes of anxious southern California wealthy idiots. Sort of the Hummer of guard animals. Whether or not to import small hippos or the full-sized models would be a market segmentation decision, but I think we could justify the cost basis of hippos if we marked them up enough.

2) Penis gourds. The whole New Primitive thing is mainstreaming now. I think people are already tattooed and pierced, and when even the local hausfrau has a rose on her ankle it's time to go to the next level. The New Guinean penis gourd is a way for men to accessorize, too, which is big these days. There are a lot of good potential "move ups" with the gourd string, painting jobs, etc.

Based on the whole THREE POUNDS OF SOUR CREAM debacle I'm also thinking that squeeze tubes of dip for putting it directly in your damn mouth without chips or anything could sell pretty well. Sort of like gogurt but for onion dip, guacamole etc. Or just plain sour cream, for which the slogan would be "CREAM UP!"

I think we broke the_silent_one three times tonight. She's funny when she turns red and tries to hide under the table and all you can see is the middle finger.
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