The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban
substitute

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Talking Points Update: PLEASE READ!!!

Team,

As we approach the election, it's time once again to close up ranks and keep on message. In this sound-bite environment it's essential that all of us stay on the same page. With that in mind, here are the key talking points we're stressing:

  • Pork barrel earmark set-aside entitlements for unregistered Hoosiers

  • Terrorist infiltration of full-service hardware stores

  • Offshore polygamous slush funds

  • The ague and the grippe: how can government help?

  • "Critical Mass" bicycle demonstrations funded by shadowy Romanian billionaire

  • Slurpee dilution: where is the enforcement? Where are the regulators?

  • Outrage fatigue fatigue

  • Stop-loss orders for sous-chefs.


I know it's hard to keep your head in this turbulent atmosphere but we need to hit these points and hit them hard, together. Thanks in advance!
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