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The American Caliban

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Your tax dollars at work! Or mostly at play! [Mar. 13th, 2007|04:42 pm]
The American Caliban
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[Current Mood |cynical]

There were a few news items about the mortgage catastrophe today. Instead of saying "hey everyone the so-called subprime market was usury and fraud and soon it will all collapse and we will pay and pay and pay," they said that there was "increasing concern" about the "dip" in the "subprime market" and that foreclosures were occurring. Also, big time Democratic Senator Dodd was intoning that we must save the American homeowner and punish "predatory lending" since he had just discovered the other day that the mortgage business was being run by actual burglar-type criminals.

I assume that this will result in a huge S&L style bailout eventually. The homeowners will be "saved" by a "public/private partnership solution" in which taxpayers foot the bill for yet more mortgage bros to refi everything. Five or six egregious offenders will be convicted of fraud because of "predatory lending," and everyone else will refi their rap sheet and continue.

Get out your checkbooks everyone. You're about to pay out for the last fifteen years of appletinis, Humvees, shiny shirts, big watches, square-toed Italian shoes, blowjobs, cocaine, Harleys, Las Vegas, more cocaine, Mexican resorts, Dave Matthews Band tickets, still more cocaine, and one more appletini for the road.
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Comments:
From: jpeace
2007-03-13 11:48 pm (UTC)
Christ, that was delicious. A little perfect bonbon.
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[User Picture]From: burntcurtis
2007-03-13 11:51 pm (UTC)

I love appletinis.

I heard on the AM today that foreclosures hit an alltimehigh. I immediately thought about you and how I MISS SANDWICHING WITH YOU.

Soon?
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[User Picture]From: sooz
2007-03-14 12:57 am (UTC)
i don't know if you are personally being affected, but really what isnt to love about five year interest only loans ;)
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2007-03-14 01:26 am (UTC)
hah! no, I am not affected except that orange county's economy is gonna collapse and I'm going to get a luxury car REAL CHEAP.

what isn't to love... the sixth year? ;)
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[User Picture]From: sooz
2007-03-14 02:11 am (UTC)
cars are always the last thing people are willing to sacrifice. your car is much more a sign of your elitism than your dwelling because strangers see it. that is why so many of my crackhead neighbors here in the LBC rock rovers and benzs.



you should see how much pussy i get in the focus man.
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[User Picture]From: trinnit
2007-03-14 03:21 pm (UTC)
Big Yellow Hummer like you've always wanted.
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[User Picture]From: mcpino
2007-03-14 03:02 am (UTC)
Lucky for me I have invested all my money in those collectible plates & figurines from the Franklin Mint.
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[User Picture]From: firepower
2007-03-14 05:22 am (UTC)

"refi their rap sheet"

As a former employee of a major subprime and prime lender...this phrase was delicious.
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2007-03-14 08:02 am (UTC)

Re: "refi their rap sheet"

Thanks! Like everyone in O.C. I have had friends who worked in that... industry. Whoo boy. Glad you're a former employee, that means you may well have a job for a while!
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[User Picture]From: firepower
2007-03-14 03:52 pm (UTC)
Now I make money being a bearish financial analyst.

Seems to me as if there's a bit more of a future in that nowadays.

I sort of knew I had to get out when I saw thirty-year variable interest-only loans for $3mil amortized as if they were forty-year. It seemed like half the people I knew were wither real estate agents or becoming real estate agents. And the rationale was that prices will always go up.

Dude, you should have seen the contempt with which people told me real estate prices will always go up, as if I was the retarded janitor in a room full of amazing geniuses. Or as if I had rubbed a rotting fish all over my armpits instead of deodorant.
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[User Picture]From: gcrumb
2007-03-14 09:22 pm (UTC)
Hang on a second - 15 years of taxpayer-funded blowjobs?

*sob*

I missed my calling....
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