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The American Caliban

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Hi, Bob. [Aug. 6th, 2003|10:48 pm]
The American Caliban
[Current Mood |depressed]

People who don’t know Bob in person ask me what he looks like. So, I snapped a shot of him and Mary today. I’m going to post some Bob stories on contentgoeshere this week, I think. I’m supposed to go visit him up at his house in Wildomar soon.


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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thiscantbesoy
2003-08-07 12:02 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'd do him.
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[User Picture]From: nosrialleon
2003-08-07 07:54 am (UTC)

Both sets of eyes closed! Score!

She seems to have cleaned him up a tad. Granted, he was one of the cleanest men who lived out of his car I've ever seen.
I'm trying to remember an obligatory Bob quote uttered in my presence, but it's just too early. It'll come.
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[User Picture]From: zebulon_y
2003-08-07 08:35 am (UTC)

Re: Both sets of eyes closed! Score!

This is the one I heard when I met him:

"I just grabbed a Sawz-all and massacred the sons of bitches."
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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2003-08-07 09:01 am (UTC)
i heart bob... he's funny to be around when you're pregnant... not that you're pregnant or anything, but it's still funny...
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[User Picture]From: kennfusion
2003-08-07 09:18 am (UTC)
Wow! I saw a couple who looked just like those 2 at Diedrichs yestarday.....

They could have been twins or something with these two in the picture.......
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[User Picture]From: halfjack
2003-08-07 09:31 am (UTC)
He is precisely as he existed in my head before I saw this.
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From: (Anonymous)
2003-08-07 11:16 am (UTC)

Bob rocks

Every time I'm reminded, or see Bob, I silently wish he had been my father. Well, maybe an uncle, yeah... Uncle Bob.
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[User Picture]From: friendly_bandit
2003-08-07 10:55 pm (UTC)

Best Bob story:

"Bag of Blow..... two crack whores.... hotel room.... Teflon bullets.... sledge hammer.... that's true love right there!"

I have plenty of people that will tell you that this is a normal Bob story.
Other favorite lines include:

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"Bag of Blow..... two crack whores.... hotel room.... Teflon bullets.... sledge hammer.... that's true love right there!"

I have plenty of people that will tell you that this is a normal Bob story.
Other favorite lines include:

<On the subject of trying payote(sp?> "I don't remember puking... I remember DRIVING and the Jersey tunnel turned into a giant worm!"

<On the subject of a leaky oil filter> "You know when you're making crack...? Well, when you're making crack..."

<On the subject of a typical hyper NB girl> "Chist! She's like a poodle on crack!"

<Advice about being in prison> "First thing you have to do is beat a gaurd as close to death as you can so you can have solitary!"


Bob is truely the scarriest person I know, but at the same time he is the first person you would trust to watch your baby for you if you had to leave.

Bob is great!
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[User Picture]From: brianenigma
2003-08-08 09:19 am (UTC)

Re: Best Bob story:

Best quote EV-AR: "A crimson cloud of mucous giblets."
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[User Picture]From: pbd
2003-08-08 01:14 pm (UTC)

Bob the Counselor

My favorite Bob quote, I think I heard from friendly bandit, was when a acquaintance of Bob came up to him and asked, "Bob, do you think I am an alcoholic?" Bob responded,"If you are set on fire, do you run up to someone and ask, 'Hey, am I on fire?'".

The most valuable phone number in my cell phone is Bob's. He told me, after he gave me his number, "Now, if the shit really hits the fan, DUI, cops, handcuffs, bar fight, drugs on dash, you give me a call and I will be there in a half an hour." Sure this was a few years ago, but Bob doesn't change when it comes to statements like that.

He's not dead right, because we are talking like he is dead. Conrad, I think that you need to have a survey on what to put on Bob's tombstone.
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[User Picture]From: vegemitelover
2003-08-08 04:35 pm (UTC)
"Lasagna in the trees!!!"
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[User Picture]From: torgo_x
2003-08-08 11:49 pm (UTC)

Casting Bob

I forbid Bob to be in the John-Waters-directed biopic of my life, because he would steal the show.
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