The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban

  • Mood:

The tale grew in the telling

A chance remark about inappropriate buzzwords showing up in fantasy fiction leads to:

Starring eyeteeth and myself. I think we both apologize.

substitute: "Hark!", Glemfundel whispered, "I hear wings. The Raven-Lords must be on the same page!"

substitute: Swurbred leaned on his staff and looked down at Fendercrump's corpse. "We have closure on this issue", he mused sadly, "and I must ping Lord Vondesblamp."

substitute: This is easy.
eyeteeth: Yeah, you could write a shell script or something to do it.
substitute: Right.
eyeteeth: Double-click that.
substitute: My father's fealty is mine, and your do-it is calendared on a going-forward basis, Lady Fingermold.

eyeteeth: I cannot wed the humble turnip farmer of my heart's desiring, for my noble father will not think outside the box.

substitute: And wast thou at the Battle of Harnug, when Elves and Dwarves each said: thou art the bottleneck? Nay, if we do not strategize, we might as take this quest offline.
eyeteeth: Thou darest bracket the action items of the mighty Fibrefill, Chief Sorceror of Kerotea?

substitute: Go not for the Elves for counsel, for they shall say "Let's schedule a pre-meeting".
eyeteeth: Pre-meeting? What horror is this?
substitute: Speak not that buzzword in this house! For many years beyond years there has been no pre-meeting here, and Zoaras willing we shall have none.

substitute: Orraganth drew forth a Word document from his folder and shewed it to them. "This is one of the Eighteen Talking Points of the Great Meeting, when last we addressed issues at the Management Level." A gasp came up from the whole assembled company.
eyeteeth: "Stars of night!" breathed Hargott, the mousy Lord High QA Director. "That Talking Point was believed lost in the War of the Four Realms."
substitute: Nay, not lost. For this is not an ordinary Talking Point. It is of PowerPoint, and was writ in the Mission and Vision. If a thing is writ at the Corporate Level, is it not a template for every business rule henceforth?
eyeteeth: A murmur spread through the Royal Boardroom like a brush fire. Finally the aged Krelant, the king's father's most trusted advisor, spake aloud. "It is the Old Way," he said, "
eyeteeth: "And none may change it, for so it it scribed in the Header of our very Web Site."
substitute: Krelant spoke the truth. For in the days of Reorg he had fought fires, and been on the same page, and always kept on message.
substitute: ok we just jumped the shark
eyeteeth: Yeah, but that was a pretty good volley for this time of night.
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded