The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban

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Be Caligula for three easy payments of just $29.98

Are you ready for real success? Are you ready to walk away from that job and experience total financial independence with model-quality women on yachts and personal watercraft? Because if you have the desire to quantum leapfrog into wealth, this program is for you.

Today is the day you start thinking like a millionaire. Picture yourself on the deck of your seaside or lakeside home enjoying a premium beverage. Picture yourself enjoying large portions of seafood in exotic yet comfortable locales. Picture yourself with a stacked 19-year-old girlfriend or perhaps two but in any case nearly always dressed in a bikini. Picture it all today, and have it tomorrow. You owe it to yourself to exceed your full potential.

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This was brought to you by two decades of infomercials, and the wonderful compare and contrast: versus brought to me by the exploding aardvark.
Tags: advertising, money, no, sex
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