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The American Caliban

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rhinoceros [May. 18th, 2006|06:17 pm]
The American Caliban
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[Current Location |2121 westcliff drive, newport beach ca]
[Current Mood |tired]
[Current Music |french canadian folk music]

Behind me two women talk about their "awesome" pastor. In front of me another woman reads with the Life Application Bible and a Josh McDowell apologetics text called "A Ready Defense" stacked next to her. The parking lot is full of ichthyomobiles.

The groupthink is dreary. I feel like the last one in Orange County who's not an evangelical Protestant Konservative Kristian Klone.

[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2006-05-19 01:34 am (UTC)
you are not alone.

i think there are about five of us.
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[User Picture]From: bruisedhips
2006-05-19 01:49 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2006-05-19 01:58 am (UTC)
Well hello, Sailor!
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From: besskeloid
2006-05-19 04:40 am (UTC)
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From: hersheyjumper
2006-05-19 02:26 am (UTC)
There's a couple of us left...but we're also Democrats so, we tend to stay away from mobs crowded places for fear of discovery.
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[User Picture]From: burntcurtis
2006-05-19 02:32 am (UTC)

When I get there in June, we can both not be the PKKK.
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[User Picture]From: mrhinelander
2006-05-19 02:43 am (UTC)

I was in Rhinoceros

Little offoffBroadway joint called House of Candles Theater that did absurdist plays. I worked there for like a year, even starred a little.

In Rhinoceros, I remember: the starring actress stuffing her face and all bug-eyed saying, "How do you know? You're no POLYGLOT." Night after night. Also, me and my co-actor Michael, an emergency room physician for heaven's sake, would go across the street to The Hat to get drunk on cheap frozen daiquiri's during intermission, because after intermission all we had to do was go around in a rhino mask and go rooar. With all the other rhinos.

I also remember the last moment of the play, again night after night, yes? The lead actor leans out of the balcony window and shrieks at the sea of rhinos around him, "I'M NOT CAPITULATING!"
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[User Picture]From: spacemummy
2006-05-19 02:50 am (UTC)
I had a girlfriend in highschool whose parents gave her Josh McDowell pamphlets to read. I think we even watched a video of his about pre-marital sex.

I once attended a week of Christian mindcontrol with her in Tulsa (moral support, heh) taught by Bill Gothard (a name which we insisted on splitting into two words). Her mother sprained her ankle the first day and we had to attend the rest of the seminar alone. We started laughing during one of the lessons on reprobation and someone passed us a note that said, "GOD IS GOING TO ZAP YOU!!!!"
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[User Picture]From: eyeteeth
2006-05-19 03:03 am (UTC)
papering your home with Kinkade imagery now
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From: (Anonymous)
2006-05-19 03:19 am (UTC)
Conrad, you are just terrific.

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From: threepunchstuff
2006-05-19 04:47 am (UTC)
Your sweeping generalization is so unfair. Our fine homeland also boasts scores of Illiberal Islamist Immigrants and a small but delightfully vocal minority of Smarmy Starbucks Socialists.
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[User Picture]From: torgo_x
2006-05-19 05:07 am (UTC)

Hot church action

People have holes in their brain that they fill with religion. Contrary to popular delusion, religion does not have ideas, but ideas attach to it: religion is glue. Or CAULK, if you will.

People want a happy religion CAULK to spackle the hole in their brain. But random ideas can stick to the CAULK. The CAULK is especially sticky and gummy, and you can never be sure where that CAULK has been and what it has picked up, in spite of the CAULK's promises.

Many stick to their parents' CAULKS, or go else chasing exotic CAULKS for thrills. Sometimes weird people come to your door and try to push their CAULK into your brain. Or, you know, at airports.

CAULK has a mind of its own. People need to be more careful about where they cram CAULKS, and whose CAULKS they go cramming.

Many people think CAULK has a place in everyone's brains.


Also, big jutting cocks.

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[User Picture]From: gcrumb
2006-05-19 05:29 am (UTC)
There is a family of Pentecostals (the church, not the island) living next door to me. They hold services at the house 3 or 4 days, with day long celebrations every Saturday. It's got to the point where I find myself thinking things like, 'They're speaking in tongues; it must be Tuesday.'

When I run out of hope, I go and listen to the children singing in the choir at the Cathedral. It doesn't do anything to reduce my loathing for the lead-lined life preserver that much of religion is. But it sure sounds sweet.
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[User Picture]From: odradak
2006-05-19 12:01 pm (UTC)
Reason #94 from my Why I Got Out Of Orange County list.

I'm almost positive that another election month would have put an assault rifle in my hands.

Don't you kill nobody.
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[User Picture]From: ahhhlisaaah
2006-05-19 02:34 pm (UTC)
It's good to know there are those specifically born to be PKKK's.

Thankfully,I'm not one of them AND I live in Orange County. Who knew!
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[User Picture]From: frobisher
2006-05-19 04:28 pm (UTC)
Ergo, Socrates is a cat.
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