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The American Caliban

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I am in. Um. Awe? [Apr. 18th, 2006|06:54 pm]
The American Caliban
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LONG STORY SHORT I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A PARTY BALL FROM THE ABSINTHE CLEARINGHOUSE BUT IT WAS TOTALLY NOT WHAT I THOUGHT

springheel_jack linked to digby's post on the "Purity Ball" phenomenon. This is put on by the Abstinence Clearinghouse people, and is a ritual in which formally-dressed daughters make a pledge of abstinence to their formally-dressed fathers. It's basically them marrying their fathers until they find husbands.

The abstinoids sell a purity ball planner, and you can browse a photo gallery of the 2005 and 2006 balls.

This is the best Rural Pakistan ever! By the way I hear the abstinence chicks are totally easy for oral and anal, dude.

what
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: sistermaryeris
2006-04-19 02:06 am (UTC)
Oh dear.

I do have to say that perhaps the people who attend those balls should possibly NEVER breed.

If there is a jeebus.
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[User Picture]From: deadflowers
2006-04-19 02:17 am (UTC)
i want to grab all the adults by their heads and shake vigorously, screaming "can't you see how fucked-up this all is?"

people are horrible. i want an island.
i say that every day.
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[User Picture]From: torgo_x
2006-04-19 07:05 am (UTC)

Island.

I got an island. But then I realized I needed people on it to furnish me with pancakes and running water, and do things, and ... fashion stuff? I dunno.

Long story short, ya can't win. Because there always needs to be islanders to make you pancakes.

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[User Picture]From: vegemitelover
2006-04-19 03:26 am (UTC)
WTF. Is it just me or does the name "Abstinence Clearinghouse" not make any sense. Unless I am mistaken, a clearing house is a business that gets rid of excess or leftover inventory (ex. "Publishers Clearinghouse"). Selling leftover chastity sounds a bit different.
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2006-04-19 07:57 am (UTC)
Maybe sinful young girls can exchange virginity credits the way filthy corporations trade pollution credits. You know, like a market for purity. We could make a website for it, and skim 1% of the purity off the top.

3) PROFIT
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[User Picture]From: vegemitelover
2006-04-19 10:03 am (UTC)
Will this be for business or personal use?
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2006-04-19 10:13 am (UTC)
we can all use a bit more purity in our lives. the business first, customers second, employees third!
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[User Picture]From: friendly_bandit
2006-04-19 04:01 am (UTC)

Umm...

Ok. I get the idea. I guess it makes sense in that super christian/conservitive/life with blinders on sort of way... but isn't marrying your dad kind of ew? Hopefully for both of them!!!!
Wouldn't it be nice to be blissfully unaware like these people?


(bad thought: Travis Heaven!)

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From: the_angelmoroni
2006-04-19 09:09 am (UTC)

Re: Umm...

IM NOT TRAVIS
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2006-04-19 09:16 am (UTC)

INSTITUTIONALIZED

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S TRAVIS
YOU'RE DRIVING ME TRAVIS

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[User Picture]From: halfjack
2006-04-19 05:08 am (UTC)
I love how yonic that archway is.
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[User Picture]From: gutbloom
2006-04-19 12:01 pm (UTC)
Hah!
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[User Picture]From: icariancypher
2006-04-19 05:34 am (UTC)
Not only are your posts/comments always scary/insightful/funny, but your tags have this nasty habit of ruining my bad mood.
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From: besskeloid
2006-04-19 08:38 am (UTC)

He said ABSTINENCE CLEARINGHOUSE!

Those two words are going to be popping in & out of my head all day. Sounds like a GBV song title. The last time a phrase leapt at me like that was when I was watching Law & Order the other day. Mention was made of a "wigstore switchbox" & I couldn't help repeating it at every opportunity.

WIGSTORE SWITCHBOX! WIGSTORE SWITCHBOX!
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2006-04-19 08:45 am (UTC)

Re: He said ABSTINENCE CLEARINGHOUSE!

ECHOLALIA-INDUCING PHRASES INDEED

WIGSTORE SWITCHBOX!
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[User Picture]From: torgo_x
2006-04-19 09:09 am (UTC)

Cheese ball

I'm used to reality turning into The Onion these days -- but now reality is starting to turn into Arrested Development and it's just too much. DVD box set, take me away!
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From: the_angelmoroni
2006-04-19 09:09 am (UTC)
By the way I hear the abstinence chicks are totally easy for oral and anal: confirmed
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[User Picture]From: gutbloom
2006-04-19 12:07 pm (UTC)

The Movement is Losing Steam Already

2005 Purity Ball: 123 images
2006 Purity Ball: 106 images
Abstinence Africa: 14 images

I dig the stock art model in the background image.
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[User Picture]From: namja
2006-04-19 01:13 pm (UTC)
ick.
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[User Picture]From: seriesfinale
2006-04-19 02:25 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I think the father angle is a little weird to say the least, but they're not infringing on anyone else's rights with these balls so no skin off my nose (and I can't say someone pledging abstinence bothers me in the slightest).

Now, when people try to claim that merely preaching abstinence is "sex education," I have an issue.
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[User Picture]From: namja
2006-04-19 02:29 pm (UTC)
"Now, when people try to claim that merely preaching abstinence is "sex education," I have an issue."

ok yeah that I can get behind.
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[User Picture]From: turnip
2006-04-19 02:30 pm (UTC)
Now, when people try to claim that merely preaching abstinence is "sex education," I have an issue.

Yes! Don't move to Kansas!
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[User Picture]From: hammaboo
2006-04-19 02:52 pm (UTC)
I know I've seen the stories about how the fathers give their daughters purity rings. The current thing is that it should be a diamond for purity. So odd. (Does it mean you are engaged to your dad ntil you get married?)

*shudders*
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[User Picture]From: culfinglin
2006-04-19 06:47 pm (UTC)
i think my gorge just rose.
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