The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban
substitute

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I PUT ASCII CATS AND CHOCOLATE-RELATED INSPIRATIONAL SNIPPETS IN MY SIG !!

torgo_x is a superstar and found somewhere in the search cache a file of all the Leisuretown oneliners. This is why he is going to his own personal Heaven, while we strum harps and praise him.

!!! MAKE MONEY FAST !!! OH GOD HELP I'M DROWING IN THE TOILET
"ADOBE" IS ALMOST EBOLA SPELLED BACKWARDS
"BINDIST" CAN ALSO BE PRONOUNCED "BEEN DISSED" WHICH MEANS "BEEN DISRESPECTED"
"FAGGOT" CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!! I MEAN STICKS
"PAYPAL" SOUNDS LIKE A GAY PORNO DVD TO ME
$$$$ MAKE MONEY FAST $$$$ OH GOD HELP I'M DROWNING IN THE TOILET
$$$$ YOU CAN DRAG ME TO THE TRASH CAN WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A GLANCE $$$$
*** FREE chocolate ice cream cones delivered to your ex-girlfriend's lap ***
***FREE*** EMAIL!!!!! IT CANNOT BE!!!! CLICKING HERE EVEN THOUGH IT'S A TRAP
**HOT** TOSHIBA NOTEBOOKS NOW ON SALE IN SOME IDIOT'S GARAGE
**SOB** MY TAMAGOCHI DIED!!! trash can
**SOB** THE POOR OVERWORKED CHILDREN OF OTHER NATIONS
*BONK* OW MY HEAD WITH A BEER BOTTLE
*GAK* THE SWEATSHIRT HOOD PULLED DOWN OVER MY HEAD AND *GLK* THE STRINGS
*POOF* MAGICALLY I TRANSFORM MYSELF INTO SOMETHING AMUSING
*SIGH* PLEASE STOP FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE HALLWAY ASKING QUESTIONS YOU STUPID TOOL
*SPLUTTER* *CHOKE* ALL OVER MY NEW DRESS AND SHOES AND MEMBERS-ONLY JACKET
...:::;;;===((({{{[[[<<< I SAID KILL YOURSELF >>>]]]}}})))===;;;:::...
.:: THESE COLONS AND PERIODS SHOWCASE MY DESIGN SKILLS ::.
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{[[~{{A ~[[A{~[ ???~''?''?~'''??'' DUH NEED FRASH 5 PRUG-IN FOR VIEWING [A[A~[~{[A~
A SPILLED BONG IS JUST A MOPPORTUNITY
A VERY SPECIAL TWO-HOUR SEASON PREMIERE !!!! noose neck snap etc
A&E - 9pm - TRAPPED IN A LAND WITH NO PORN OR TV
A&E 7:00pm: Bill Kurtis puts the "gay" in "Investigaytive Reports" (Cc, Stereo)
About Us! | Clients | Portfolio | Privacy Policy | Blowjobs | Suicide | Heil Hitler
ADD ME TO THE LIST!!!!!! OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE THIS JOKE
Advertisement: DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH DEATH
Advertisement: Sprint Introduces Pre-Paid Blowjob Cards
AND THEN YOU WOKE UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!! THE END
ANY BLOOM COUNTY FANS??? OOP!! ACK!!! killing myself
ANY GALS HERE INTO MUSIC??? BECAUSE I'M A TWELVE-INCH SINGLE
Apply now for INSTANT CREDIT and chop your head off.
ARE YOU JERKING OFF AS A DEFENSE MECHANISM?
Are you overweight or in debt or depressed or just freaked out constantly?
ARE YOU REALLY GAY BECAUSE OF A FREAK TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT??? LIAR
ARE YOU THERE GOD??? I NEED A SNICKERS
Are you tired of living in fear and constantly changing your phone number?
Ask Jeeves: CAN I GET AIDS FROM TAKING A SHIT ????
ASK ME ABOUT THE EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIR I HAD WHERE I COULDN'T EVEN GET IT UP
AT THE VERY LEAST I HAVE MY BLOG TO FALL BACK ON
AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE URINE IN THE CAFETERIA
BANANARAMA GOT A LOT BETTER AFTER THEY DUMPED BIG-NOSE
BANNER ADS: GUARANTEED TO KEEP THOSE GOD DAMN LITERATURE/ART SNOBS FAR AWAY
BINDIST CAN ALSO BE PRONOUNCED "BEEN DISSED" WHICH MEANS "BEEN DISRESPECTED"
BOSTON WAGES WAR AGAINST CANCER: BOSTON 0, CANCER 80,000,000,000,000
BOTH MY PANTS POCKETS ARE FLOPPED OUT!!! KISS THE BUNNY ON THE NOSE??
BREAK the nicotine habit and smash a car window and steal the CD player!
BUG #39439: MY DONG IS CAUGHT IN A WINE BOTTLE!!! NOT A JOKE
BY PLACING M&M'S INTO A PAPER CUP I CAN PRACTICALLY DRINK THEM
CAN SOMEONE SELL ME A BOOK ON HOW TO GET MY WEBSITE CACHED IN GOOGLE??
CAN WE ALL DO A BUSBY BERKELEY NUMBER WHERE WE LINE UP AND SUCK DICK
CAN'T REALLY SAY WHY I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND (SHOVING YOU OUT THE DOOR)
CATCH THE CYBERWAVE WITH THESE OTHER HOT BLOGS AND HYPERTEXT HOTLINKS....
Caution: Gothic Vampire Zone!!!!><BR><IMG SRC="BAT/JPG")><
CBS 8:00pm. Will There Ever Be A Rainbow? (Cc, Stereo)
CBS 8:00pm: Murder, She Mentioned (Cc, Stereo)
CELEBRATING THE FIVE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THIS COMPANY'S INCOMPETENCESHIP
CHASING YOU AROUND THE HOUSE TO A REPETITIVE DANNY ELFMAN SOUNDTRACK
CHEERS to separate dorm rooms for boys and girls!!! JEERS to locks/deadbolts
CHILD MOLESTERS AND PEDOPHILES ON THE INTERNET ??? I SIMPLY DON'T BELIEVE IT
CHOCOLATE AND SHOPPING AND BATHING SUITS AND GETTING FIRED
CLEAN UP ON AISLE 2-13
CLICK HERE FOR TEN MILLION POP-UP WINDOWS ABOUT FORD TRUCKS AND THE X-10
Click here for your free Pepsi One Infotainment calendar! *BLAM* dead forever
Click here for your FREE trial issue of Yahoo Internet Life! CAUTION: 100% ANAL SEX
Click here to help build another Starbucks, Noah's Bagels, Jamba Juice or Old Navy!
CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE ELITE UNDERGROUND MONEY SPENDING WEBRING
CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT TEENAGE GIRLS AND LAXATIVE ABUSE
Click here to stop terrorism around the globe once and for all.
Click here to support mandatory prayer in public schools!
CLICK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME!!!IMG SRC="GAY.JPG><JAVA="RECTANGLE">
Collect all one million billion plastic iMacs!
COLUMBINE? MORE LIKE COLUMBONG!!! hglbhlgbhglbhglbhth * COUGH * SPLUTTER *
COME WITH ME ON A TRANCELADELIC EXCURSIONAL ODYSSEY OF ELECTRONICA !!!!!!
COULD THE PERSON IN THE NEXT STALL PLEASE LET GO OF MY PANT LEG
DEAR GOD PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME UNTIL I'VE SAVED SOME MONEY
DEAR NAPSTER: KEEP ON REACHING FOR THAT BIG FAT INVISIBLE DICK IN THE SKY
DEAR PENTHOUSE!!! CAN WE STOP DRESSING THEM UP AS CLOWNS ???
DESIGNERS: DOES YOUR WEB PAGE LOOK ENOUGH LIKE MTV???? *HURK* DOG SHIT
DID ANYONE GET MY FLYER ABOUT THE FREE TAROT READINGS IN MY CUBE DURING LUNCH
DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE INSOMNIAC AGNOSTIC DYSLEXIC ?? HE WASN'T FUNNY
DISAPPOINTED BY THE RICH MILK CHOCOLATE BUT DELIGHTED BY THE NOUGAT
Discovery 8:00pm. "Smart" dicks which suck themselves and also each other (Cc, Stereo)
DO I NEED TO DRAW YOU A MAP TO THE PAYPAL DONATE BUTTON??
DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK UNTIL XMAS
DO YOU GALS LIKE EUROPEANS?? CAUSE I'VE GOT RUSSIAN HANDS AND ROMAN FINGERS
Do you have holes poked in you, rendering you useless to collectors?
DOES WAVING A FLAG IN YOUR FACE FOR THREE HOURS COUNT AS PATRIOTISM
DOES YOUR BOSS CALL PLAYING WITH HIS NUTS A "REORG" ?
Don't be a dick: if this site goes into basic, please type RUN at the "]" prompt.
DOWN WITH PANTS AND UP WITH SKIRTS
Download the newest, slowest, most non-functional version of Netscape Communicator NOW!
DRAGGING A STACK OF PORN ONTO A NETWORK PRINTER AND GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND
DRIVE YOUR WEB COUNTER BALLISTIC!!!!! 0000000000000002
DURRRRRRRRR THIS HOLOGRAM T-SHIRT PROVES I'M MICROSOFT CERTIFIED
Earn bonus miles! MILES AND MILES OF DICK UNFURLING LIKE A HOSE
EARN VALUABLE COLLEGE CREDIT HANGING UPSIDE DOWN IN A CONCENTRATION CAMP
Easy-Access Email! Wireless Webs! *GURK* HOSE DOWN MY PANTS
EIGHT SNICKERS LATER I HAVE DIARRHEA
ENROLL NOW: THE DICKLICKING FINISHING SCHOOL OF DUMBFUCK, COCKSUCKERSVILLE
ETHNIC ALBANIANS???? MORE LIKE ETHNIC COMPLAINIANS
EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!!!!
EXCITING OFFERS FROM SPRINT, AT&T, BANK OF AMERICA, PROCTOR & GAMBLE
EXCUSE ME LADY BUT THAT DOORKNOB OVER THERE NEEDS TO KNOW IF YOU THINK I'M CUTE
Experience the wonder of Jack in the Box
EXPOSED: THE SECRET CONFERENCES OF THE ONE-MAN BATHROOM STALL AT WORK BEATOFF SOCIETY
FAGGOT CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!! I MEAN STICKS
FAMILY MATTERS FOLLOWED BY FULL HOUSE AND THEN A BONUS FAMILY MATTERS
FIRST I WILL CLONE MYSELF, THEN I WILL KILL MYSELF
First law of artificially intelligent robots: ONLY HARM MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS
FOLKS CAN I PUT REGULAR TOILET PAPER IN THE PLAIN PAPER COPIER OR NOT
FOLKS CAN WE PLEASE NEVER SPELL IT "BOLOGNA"
FOLKS I'M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK: HURRRRFFFF HUHHHH glklth
FOLKS I'VE BEEN FIRED FROM SIX COMPANIES FOR MY UFO BELIEFS
FOLKS MY PSYCHIC GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME BEFORE I EVEN ASKED HER OUT
FOLKS, ONE OF MY FIVE CATS JUST KNOCKED THE BONG OVER
FOLKS: DOES VIVID VIDEO ACTUALLY EMPLOY MORE THAN ONE PORN STAR ????
FOLKS: I AM A ***PERSON*** WITH ***FEELINGS***
Food Network 11:35am. Diagnosis: Cinnamon Buns (Cc, Stereo)
FOR SHOW AND TELL THIS WEEK I HAVE CHOSEN TO COMMIT SUICIDE!! *BLAM* chalkboard
FOR THE LAST TIME: AN ELF IS WORTH MORE THAN AN ORC BUT *LESS* THAN A UNICORN
FOX 10:00pm. Fox Presents: When Commercials Attack (Cc, Stereo)
FREE PORN!! CLICK HERE!! WARNING: SAME SHIT YOU SAW THREE YEARS AGO
FUNNY DINOSAURS: THE COCKASAURUS NUTS!! THE PRICKASAURUS FACE!! THE DONG-A-LAPTICYL etc
Fwd> Re: should i stick dee-lite.gif in the /white or /colored dir
Fwd> Subject: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: WAS: RE: STOP STALKING ME
GALS: I JUST TOOK A DATE-RAPE DRUG AND I'LL BE OUTSIDE ASLEEP ON THE LAWN
GALS: THERE MAY BE ONLY 206 BONES IN YOUR BODY BUT I'M WILLING TO MAKE IT 207
GOSH DARN THESE TELEMARKETERS NEVER RETURNING MY CALLS
GOTTA HAVE A MC-D-L-T / IF YOU WANNA BE / WITH / ME
HANDS UP WHO LIKES ME OR THINKS I'M PRETTY OR CAN GIVE ME MONEY
HANDS UP WHO STOLE MY DATING RESUME FROM OUT OF THE PRINTER TRAY ??
HELP ME ACHIEVE DEATH BY WAY OF A PROSTITUTE OVERDOSE
Help save our oceans by removing the sea sponges soaking it all up!
Help starving banner ads in other nations receive clicks.
HELP STARVING CHILDREN MAKE CLOTHES AND HATS FROM CONSTRUCTION PAPER
HEY EVERYONE: LET'S HOP ABOARD THE BIG PORNOGRAPHY VAN TO MEXICO
HEY TEACHERS: STOP TRYING TO MAKE SCIENCE FUN
HEY: HOW DOES A CAT SUCK COCK???? WITH ITS *****MEOWTH*****
hglbhgl bhlhglb hlghpth I PUBLISH FICTION AND POLITICAL NON-FICTION blghlbh glbhl thpk
Hint: ASTERISKS REALLY **LEAP** OUT AND MAKE POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS GIVE A SHIT
HONEY CAN YOU PLEASE TURN AROUND AND NOT LOOK AT ME BEATING OFF??? THANX
HONK IF YOUR DAUGHTER IS FAILING HER CLASSES
HOW CAN THEY BE SWEET *****AND**** TART??? (ASKING JEEVES)
HOW DO DALEKS MASTURBATE WITH ALL THOSE KNOBS AND ETC???
HOW MANY MORE GNOCCI AL PESTO DUMPLINGS CAN I STUFF IN MY MOUTH !?!??! STAY TUNED
I ALSO HAVE A SERIOUS SIDE AND I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING TREATED MORE MATURELY
I AM PLAYING HOOKY FROM WORK AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BUY AT THE STORE
I AM SWEDISH AND DROWNING AND ASKING FOR HJALP!! JA JA IN DER TOILET
I BUILT A CONTENT PUBLISHING SYSTEM OUT OF TOILET PAPER! (COME LOOK)
I CALL THEM ONLINE CYBERTOONZ!!! UPDATED EACH MONDAY!!! wheeze, choke
I CAN OPEN A CAN OF PRINGLES USING JUST MY TEETH AND BOTH HANDS AND A CAN OPENER
I CAN'T SPEAK FOR EVERYONE BUT I LIKE TO CARRY MY DICE AROUND IN A POUCH
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL 2086 WHEN THE MARS ROBOT COMES BACK WITH ROCKS!!!
I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES SO I JUST MADE YOUR HORN HONK LOUDER
I DO NOT NOW, NOR WILL I EVER HAVE A WEINER DUDE ATTITUDE
I DON'T LIKE LOTION CALLED "KISS MY FACE"
I GET CONFUSED BETWEEN THE CINGULAR WIRELESS LOGO AND BLOOD SPATTER
I GOT MY TIE CAUGHT IN THE COPIER AGAIN
I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT PUNCHING CHILDREN OR THE ELDERLY
I HAD AN ACCIDENT AND FILLED UP MY PANTS LIKE AN AIRBAG
I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH HOW YOU MAKE FUN OF ME
I HAVE CHARTS AND GRAPHS WHICH ILLUSTRATE HOW IMPORTANT I AM
I HAVE NO PEOPLE SKILLS WHATSOEVER
I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR CODE - SUGGESTIONS REALLY, IN THE FORM OF DIRECT ORDERS
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I CLEANED YOUR KITCHEN AND FOLDED ALL YOUR CLOTHES
I HOPE YOU USE THE INFORMATION FOR GOOD AND NOT TO TELL MY BOSS
I LIKE MASTURBATING BECAUSE OF ALL THE CUDDLE TIME AFTERWARDS
I LIKE TO GET STONED AND TALK ABOUT THE COEN BROTHERS
I LIKE TO THINK MY RADIOACTIVE KITTY CAT HAS EIGHTEEN HALF-LIVES
I LOADED THE DOPE-SMOKING PIPE AND THEN WANDERED AWAY FROM IT LIKE AN IDIOT
I NAMED MY HAMSTER MORPHEUS !!!!!! THEN HE DIED AND I FLUSHED HIM
I ONLY SUCK DICK IN SELF DEFENSE AND AT THE BOOKSTORE
I PUT ASCII CATS AND CHOCOLATE-RELATED INSPIRATIONAL SNIPPETS IN MY SIG !!
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT'S FRUIT ROLLED UP IN A TUBE
I REFUSE TO PAY THE PHONE BILL DUE TO THE FACT IT VIOLATES FREE SPEECH
I SAID: HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO HELP MAKE AN ASCII-ONLY VERSION OF EVERQUEST
I SEE YOU SCANNING GAY GROUPS AND GIVING OUT YOUR WORK NUMBER ON CHANNEL #FAGGOT
I SEE YOU TV-36!!!! static
I SHOULD MAIL THIS PAGE TO MY BOSS AND MY MOM AND ALL MY FRIENDS!!! WORD UP!!!
I SHOULD MAIL YOU A PLAIN ENVELOPE STUFFED WITH POSITIVE ATTITUDETHRAX
I SHOULD MAKE A FUNNY FAQ WITH ASCII ART ABOUT MY FAMILY AND MAIL IT TO MOM
I SHOULD SMOKE THIS DOPE JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
I SURE AM COZY UNDER THESE BLANKETS!!! OH GOD A SPIDER *BONK* OW JESUS I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
I THINK ELLEN SHOULD GET ALZHEIMER'S AND "COME OUT" IN EVERY EPISODE
I USE MY POWERS FOR GOOD AND ALSO TO REPRODUCE BUGS
I WILL SUE FOR THE RIGHT TO LICK YOUR DICK (FAXING YOU THE CONSTITUTION)
I WISH A CARTOONIST WOULD DRAW A STARBUCKS ON THE MOON!!! HILARIOUS!!(&*$
I WISH YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS WOULD STOP LOGGING IN HERE AND TRYING TO BE FUNNY
I WOULD LIKE TO CHOOSE STOP FROM THE BLOWJOB MENU
I WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER AS A WEB DEVELOPER AND ALSO A CHILD MOLESTER
I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN UNLICKED DICK IN THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF MY PANTS
I'D RATHER BE SAILING!!! *BONK* OW glub glub
IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABET I'D PUT U AND I TOGETHER!!! THEN I'D DUMP U
IF I LISTEN TO THE SAME BANANARAMA SONG TWO HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW, I GET SICK OF IT
IF I SAID YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY WOULD YOU LIVE AROUND HERE OFTEN???? COME BACK
IF I WERE A TUFTE, I'D WANT THE LORAX TO SAVE ME (AND NOT GET CHOPPED DOWN BY POLLUTION)
IF ONLY I COULD JUST LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NEVER COME BACK
IF THIS TEXT WERE IN A UNIQUE LAYER IT COULD FLOAT AROUND!!
IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME $10.00 I'LL JUST TELL EVERYONE YOU MOLESTED ME
IF YOU DON'T WORK FOR UPS YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO STAMP MY PACKAGE
IF YOU HEAR BEAUTIFUL MUSIC COMING FROM A TOILET IT'S PROBABLY A TRAP
IF YOU SMASH THE AIR CONDITIONER ALL THE GIRLS WILL EVENTUALLY TAKE THEIR SHIRTS OFF
IF YOU THROW OUT ALL THE G'S HIS NAME IS SNOOP DOY DO
IGNORING ME IS NOT THE SOLUTION
I'LL NAME MY SERVER "DILBERT" AND THEN GIRLS WILL LIKE ME
I'M A CHAR TO A STAR TO A POINTER TO THIS GUN TO RIGHT IN MY MOUTH AND GOODBYE
I'M A CHARCOAL BRIQUETTE!!! SQUIRT ME WITH FLUID AND LIGHT ME!!! *FOOMP* URF
I'M A LIMPWRITHTED JEDI MATHTER UTHING THE FORTH
I'M A SKILLED IMMIGRANT WITH A TIE AND A RESUME AND A DREAM
I'M AN ELECTRONIC MUSICIAN SCULPTING SYNTHESIZED SOUND SHAPES!! *GLK* suicide
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THERE ARE NO GIRLS HERE AT ALL
I'M BRILLIANT!!! THE BALLS ATE MY BALLS PAGE!!! WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT!!!!
I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
I'M GOING TO ROLL UP MY DIPLOMA INTO A TUBE AND SET IT ON FIRE AND BLAST OFF
I'M GOING TO VISUALLY INSPECT MY DOODLE FOR SIGNS OF VERBAL ABUSE
I'M GOING TO WRITE A BLACKADDER / MR. BEAN CROSSOVER WHICH TAKES PLACE ON GALLIFREY
I'M INTERCEPTING YOUR PACKETS AND DECODING YOUR SECRET GAYNESS SO GIVE ME MONEY
I'M NOT "CONSTANTLY STONED" - I TAKE TIME OUT TO ORDER POTSTICKERS
I'M SENSING A LITTLE JUDGEMENT FROM YOU PEOPLE
I'M STARTING TO THINK I WORE A TIE FOR NOTHING
I'M TIRED OF YOUR NORDSTROM SUITS AND THAT CARTON OF BANANA YOGURT EVERY DAY
I'M WEARING BIG SHOES AND CLOMPING AROUND TO A TECHNO CD!!! HOLD MY HAND
IN ANCIENT LANDS I MIGHT COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES I BEAT OFF LIKE SO: MCMDLVII
IN DEBT? Change your name and run away and hide forever.
IN ENGLAND THEY MIGHT REFER TO ME AS A COLOURFUL PAEDOPHILE
IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY, BEING "DISSED" MEANS BEING "DISRESPECTED" !!
INSPIRATIONAL FAITH-BASED MAGIC SHOW IN THE BREAKROOM AT 3:30!! PLEASE COME!!
INSTANT MESSAGE FROM JESUS CHRIST: YOU'RE FIRED
INSTANT MESSAGE: FUCK YOU
Instant Rap: DO THAT TRICK / WHERE YOU LICK MY DICK / etc / etc
INSTANT RHYMING DICTIONARY: FORK SPORK DORK BJORK
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS THE LESBIAN-ONLY WINDOW MANAGER ??
IS THIS AD ENOUGH OF AN IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE FOR YOU DUMBSHITS
IS THIS SOME KIND OF CYBERFEMINIST WEBZINE???
IS THIS THE INTERNET?? HELLO TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY LIFE
IT'S HARD FOR ME TO GRIP BOTH THE HANDLEBARS AND THE SHAMROCK SHAKE
IT'S NO COINCIDENCE THAT STONER RHYMES WITH LONER RHYMES WITH BONER
IT'S NOT ABOUT LICKING DICK IT'S ABOUT LICKING DICK UNDER OATH
JESUS CHRIST - JUST CLEAR THE BUFFER AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE
JOIN SALON TABLETALK AND RECEIVE A FREE TOTEBAG!! *BLAM* OH GOD *BLAM BLAM*
JUST KEEP CLICKING UNTIL YOUR HOUSE BURNS DOWN
KBHK 11:00am: Jerry Springer. Scheduled: people with problems. (Cc, Stereo)
KICKED OUT OF THE SILICON VALLEY LINUX USERS GROUP FOR MASTURBATING
Kids! Click here to learn more about decimals and fractions!
KIDS: GRAB YOUR MOM'S CREDIT CARD WHILE SHE'S ALSEEP AND CLICK HERE
KNOW WHAT I HAD FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING ???? PORN CATALOGS !!!
LA LA LA LA / LIVE FOR TODAY / LA LA LA LA / FAGGOTS ARE GAY
LA LA LA LA LA HOLDING MY HANDS OVER MY EARS NOT LISTENING
LADIES: CLICK HERE AND RECEIVE A FREE BOYFRIEND FOR ONE WEEK!!! THEN PLEASE LEAVE
Ladies: CLICK HERE to download free chocolate and coupons!
LADIES: JOIN THE CUDDLE WUDDLE KITTY KLUB WEB RING TODAY
Learn more about frequent, painful urination.
LEAVING MY FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED IN CASE GIRLS COME OVER
LET'S FORM A RAP SUPER GROUP AND SING ABOUT EDUCATION AND MATH!!! READY GO
LET'S GO TO SEARS AND TRY THINGS ON BUT NOT BUY ANYTHING
LICK THE DICK AND WIN 20 DOLLARS!!!
LOOK AT MY WILTY LITTLE THINGAMADOODLE DANGLING IN THE SUMMER SUN
Make a cyberdifference in a child's life
MAKE SURE WHEN MOM OPENS THE CLOSET DOOR YOU REMAIN STILL LIKE E.T.
MAY I PLEASE COMMIT SEPPUKU AND BUKKAKE AT THE SAME TIME??? SPLURK STAB SPLORT
MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN BY "SUCK THE DICK OR LOSE YOUR JOB"
ME MACINTOSH PROGRAMMER, ME CRASHUM MEMORY HEAP MACSBUG
MENTAL NOTE: MORE DICK JOKES, LESS ARTSY-FARTSY EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT
m-must....... reach............. rape whistle....... .. . . . . . .
MOMS! Click here for a basket of cuddly kittens wearing American flags!
MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS BROKEN BUT I CAN STILL TYPE PLEASE DONATE
MY CD PLAYER IS SQUEAKING AND SQUAWKING LIKE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND
MY DAD POOFED INTO A BAT AND FLAPPED INTO MY ROOM AND PUT HIS WING DOWN MY PANTS
MY DJ NAME IS M.C. DONALDS AND I SPIN VINYL ABOUT BURGERS AND FRIES AND SHAKES
MY DOG SAYS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU (ONLINE OR OTHERWISE)
MY MOM WAS ALL "YOU'RE NOT TAKING THE CAR" AND I WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU HITLER"
MY PAC MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC MAN AIDS
MY PROGRAM WON'T COMPILE AND ALSO I WENT BLIND LOOKING AT THE ECLIPSE
MY RED SPACESHIP SMASHED INTO A BLUE PLANET AND OUR CREW WAS MAROONED!! GET IT???
MY TROUSERS ARE WHAT WE HERE IN THE SILICON VALLEY LIKE TO CALL "CONTENT RICH"
MY WEB-BASED SOAP OPERA WAS A WEB-BASED DISASTER
NBC 8pm: The Drunk Guy Who Never Shuts Up Whose Name Is Dad (Cc, Stereo)
NBC PRESENTS AN ALL-STAR COMEDY SALUTE TO *CLICK* BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
Netcenter: Netscape ships Communicator 6.0.3.5a with support for rendering HTML
NICKELODEON 9:00am: Spaceship Boring blasts off to Planet Snooze (Cc, Stereo)
NOBODY CAME TO MY POETRY TENT AT BURNING MAN
NOTHING BEATS AN OFFICE COMEDIAN LIKE THIS TIRE IRON!! BONK *BANK* CLANK SHUT UP
OFF YOU GO / TO SPEND YOUR DOUGH / WITHOUT YOUR COMMON SENSE / YOU'RE A DOUGH-NUT
OKAY EVERYONE RESIZE YOUR WINDOWS WIDE BECAUSE HERE COMES A PBS PLEDGE BREAK
OKAY I HAVE TO ASK MY MANAGER FOR HELP WITH THE BADGE-SWIPER THING
OKAY SLIPPING MY BUSINESS CARD UNDER THE STALL DOOR SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW ME
OKAY VERY FUNNY: WHO WROTE "SEX BOAT" ON MY CAR WITH SOAP THAT DOESN'T COME OFF
OKAY WHO FILLED THE TOILET BOWL ABOVE AND BEYOND THE WATERLINE
OKAY, WHO STOLE THE DIRTY MAGAZINES OUT FROM UNDER MY BED
OKAY: YOU PULL THE FIRE ALARM AND I'LL THROW THE BEER BOTTLE
ON MY SHITTY TV THE PEOPLE'S LAWYER APPEARS TO HAVE A PEOPLE'S BONER
ONLINE GAMBLING - CLICK HERE TO SUCK OUR DICKS FOREVER - VISA/MC/AMEX
ONLY GOD AND THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE KNOW ABOUT YOUR PORNOGRAPHY COLLECTION
ONLY NICE, CUTE GIRLS UNDER 21 SHOULD CLICK HERE
ONLY ONE WORD DESCRIBES E-COMMERCE: CYBER CALI FRAGIL ISTIC EXPIALI DOCIOUS !!!!!!
ONLY THE HIPPEST MEMBERS OF GENERATION Y NEED CLICK HERE
ONLY YOU CAN SAVE THIS SITE FROM FINANCIAL RUIN OR CRUEL JOKES ON FUCKED COMPANY
OPTIMIZED AS IN OPTIMIZTIC.
OUT COMES THE YELLOW PAGES AND STRAIGHT TO THE ESCORT SECTION
OVERWEIGHT MOMS: CLICK HERE FOR AN INCREDIBLE DIET PROGRAM INVOLVING ANAL SEX
PARDON MY FRENCH BUT CAN I PLEASE HAVE A HANDJOB
PBS (9:30pm) - The Day The Universe Went Off The Air Because Nobody Wanted Tote Bags
PBS 9:00pm: NOVA. Anne Frank Meets the Daleks (Cc, Stereo)
PINK HEARTS - YELLOW MOONS - ORANGE STARS - GREEN CLOVERS - PURPLE BRUISES
PLEASE CALL MY BBS
PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY BONER UNDER THE TABLE AT THANKSGIVING
PLEASE HELP THIS BANNER AD STANDARDIZE A FAILED CONCEPT
PLEASE SEND ME PIX!! WRITING YOU AGAIN IN CASE THE FIRST MAIL DISAPPEARED
POKING AND STROKING MY WAY INTO A GOOD COLLEGE
PRETEND I'M PAUL FROM THE DIAMOND CENTER AND YOU NEED CREDIT
PRETEND I'M THE 54 TO WESTGATE AND YANK MY DICK AND SAY NEXT STOP PLEASE
PRETEND OUR CAR IS DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE AND YOU HAVE TO KISS ME
PROUD MEMBER OF THE CHICKCLICK ESTROGEN SNOWBALL UGO BLA-BLA ADSOURCE NETWORK
PROUD TO OFFER A SMOKE-FREE, DRUG-FREE, ALCOHOL-FREE, EMPLOYEE-FREE WORKPLACE
psst: i accidentally spilled dope smoke into my mouth and lungs ten times
PSST: I CAN SEE STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR DRESS TO YOUR FLOWERY BLOOMERS
PSST: WHEN THE SPACE SHUTTLE RETURNS WE SHOULD ALL DRESS IN APE SUITS
PULL MY DICK ONCE FOR YES, FOUR HUNDRED TIMES FOR NO
Q: WHEN IS PIXAR GOING TO TURN THIS SITE INTO A HEARTWARMING ANIMATED COMEDY ??
QUICK!!! GRAB THIS SACK OF FLOUR AND - *FOOMP* OH GOD JESUS NO YOU IDIOT QUITTING MY GAS STATION JOB AND STARTING A WEB-BASED SOAP OPERA
Re: PISS ON MY FACE LIKE I'M A GAY FIRE RAGING OUT OF THE CLOSET
Re: SEXUALLY ABUSED DURING THE FIRST YEAR OF MY EMPLOYMENT
RED HEARTS YELLOW MOONS ORANGE STARS GREEN CLOVERS AND FUCKING FAGGOTS
Register to win an endless, massive hosing of spam from which there can be no escape!
REGISTER YOUR DOMAIN TODAY FOR ONLY TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS
RELATIVELY CERTAIN I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE
REMEMBER THE APPLE II+ ?? REMEMBER ATARI ADVENUTRE ?? FIND DAD'S GUN AND BRING IT TO SCHOOL
REMEMBER THE EIGHTIES???!?! REMEMBER THE SEVENTIES??? FUCK YOU IDIOT MORONS FOREVER
REMINDER: YOU CAN PUT PORNOGRAPHY ON A CD AS EASILY AS IDIOTIC MUSIC
Rent all the DVD's you want for FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS
Reuters (AP) - WORLD TRADE CENTER NEW SUPER STARBUCKS
REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED UP IN ONLINE WEBZINE FORMAT!! CLICK FOR COUPONS
REVOLUTIONARY "FACEPHONES" ALLOW GIRLS TO GIVE BLOWJOBS OVER NETWORK
ROCKIN' OUT WITH A PILLSBURY TOASTER STRUDEL!!!!! LOUD ANGRY GUITAR MUSIC
ROSES ARE RED / VIOLETS ARE BLUE / SOME POEMS RHYME / THIS ONE JUST FALLS APART
SASSY, CYNICAL WEB EDITRIX WITH A REGISTERED COPY OF DREAMWEAVER AND A VISION
SAY THE PHRASE "LINUX DISK IMAGES" AND SEE HOW LONG I STAY AWAKE
Secret Decoder Ring: F U CN RD THS U HV 2 SCNDZ 2 LK 10 MLN DX
SELF-ESTEEM WORKSHOP AT MY PLACE???? PLEASE BRING HUGE BAGS OF WEED
SERIOUSLY: WHO FILLED MY BONG WITH BIRD SEED AND HUNG IT FROM A TREE
SHOULD I TAKE VITAMIN E OR JUST FIVE MILLION E TABLETS??? HOMPTH STUFF *BLGK*
SHOVING A SOCCER BALL UP MY SHIRT AND WALKING AROUND LIKE I'M PREGNANT
SINCE WHEN IS THE ART OF COMEDY SIMPLY AVOIDING TOILET HUMOR
SIR MY BUS PASS SEEMS TO HAVE EXPIRED DUE TO THE FACT I CAN'T FIND IT
SIR YOUR CAT IS SITTING ON ME AND WON'T GET UP AND KEEPS GOING TO THE BATHROOM
SO I THINK ROBERT HEINEKEN IS MY FAVORITE SCI-FI AUTHOR WHO'S ALSO A BEER
SOMEONE PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME
SOMEONE STOLE THE BUTTERSCOTCHES FROM MY DESK DRAWER
SOMETIMES I PUSH THE BOTTOM OF MY SHIRT UP THROUGH THE COLLAR LIKE A HEE-HAW GIRL
SOMETIMES I WAKE UP AND LEGOS ARE IN MY UNDERWEAR
SORRY FOR THE WIDE DISTRIBUTION: I CANNOT FIT THROUGH THE STALL DOOR
SORRY LADY!! I BEAT OFF TO BLONDES, I DON'T TALK TO THEM
SORRY, THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MEMORY TO OPEN TEACH TEXT
SPECIAL REPORT: Are Our School Shootings Safe?
SQUEEZING A PERFECT "S" OF TOOTHPASTE ALONG MY DICK AND BRUSHING YOUR TEETH
Stay in school! Say no to drugs! Learn MORE about Jesus Christ! Prevent abortions! Click here!
STOP PULLING MY PIGTAILS
Subject: I would also like everyone to know I'm aware this mail is a hoax!!! CC:ALL
Subject: THE STAPLER WITH MY NAME ON IT SEEMS TO HAVE "VANISHED" AGAIN!!
Subject: WHO STOLE THE VISUAL C++ CD'S FROM MY CUBE ??? I'M AN IDIOT
SURE LADY, I'LL HAVE PHONE SEX WITH YOU!!! *SQUIRT* GOODNIGHT!!!! clonk, ba-donk
SYSADMINS: YOU CANNOT ASSIGN "PERSIMMONS" TO A DIRECTORY - THOSE ARE FRUITS
TEN BILLION SHORT FLASH ANIMATIONS!!! ALL ON DVD!!!! CLICK HERE TO KILL YOURSELF
THANKS FOR CHOPPING DOWN ALL THE TREES AND NAMING STREETS AFTER THEM
THAT IS NOT THE SORT OF LANGUAGE I EXPECT FROM A WEB DEVELOPER
THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH HUMOR AT THE EXPENSE OF PEOPLE WITH TESTICULAR CANCER
THAT'S OKAY SOMETIMES IT HAPPENS AND WE CAN TRY AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES etc.
THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED AND MY PANTS ARE DOWN
THE IMPLIED UNDERSTANDING IS THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS PLACE
THE INTERNET IS A GIFT FROM OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST!!!!
THE LITTLE ASCII ART DUCK WHO NEVER STOPPED COMPLAINING: o< THIS SUCKS
THE NEW BRITNEY CD SURE IS UPBEAT AND FULL OF TEEN PEP !!!!!! *GAK* roofies
THE SAD LITTLE ASCII ART DUCK: o< SUICIDE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT
THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT LIVING WITH TEN CATS ON NOB HILL
THESE DIRTY MAGAZINES ARE FOR AN ART PROJECT, NOT A BEATING OFF PROJECT
THESE LINKS ARE BLATANT HARASSMENT IN MY OPINIONATION
THIS BONGHIT WILL MAKE ME FUNNY!!
THIS BOOMERANG DOES NOT WORK!!!! IT IS STICK-SHAPED
This is the hardest letter I've ever had to leave on your front porch.
THIS IS THE UPPERCASE CLUB!! YOU NEED UPPERCASE JACKETS AND TIES TO BE HERE
THIS JUST IN: ASDFL;KA J#*% &*$(BLG K#%V 9BU490J HGJKLTH
THIS LOOKS MORE LIKE THE UNDERSIDE OF A TOILET AND LESS LIKE MACWORLD EXPO
THIS PORN VIDEO HAS NO JERKOFFABLE GIRLS
THIS SITE IS NOT FOR CHILDREN!! ONLY EDUCATED INTELLECTUALS WITH ATM CARDS
THIS STEERING WHEEL DOWN MY PANTS IS DRIVING ME NUTS !!!!!!!!! GET IT
TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, MASTURBATOR
To unsubscribe from this list, enter your credit card number: ____ ____ ____ ____
TOO DAZED WITH DICKS TO BOOKMARK THE BABYLON 5 FAQ ??? DOWNLOAD THE PDF
T-SHIRTS!! COFFEE MUGS!! BUMPER STICKERS!! MOUSE PADS!! KILL YOURSELF THIS INSTANT
UH-OH!! THE GUY WITH THE WORF SHIRT IS UPSET WITH HIS SHIFT LEADER !!
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE CONCEPT OF A "MODEM WIZARD"
UPDATE: CHRISTOPHER REEVE PUSHES HEALTH INSURANCE REFORM (WITH HIS NOSE)
URGENT!! CLICK HERE FOR SPECIAL OFFERS AND oh fuck it already
URGENT: PLEASE KEEP SHIFT-RELOADING THIS PAGE SO MY MODEM DOESN'T HANG UP
URMPH *BONK* SON OF A - OW - URF *HONK* WELL THIS IS A FINE ROMANCE
VERY FUNNY WITH THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER UNDER MY NUTS
VIRUS ALERT!!! HURRRRRRRR *HONK* BLOWJOBS
VISUALIZE WORLD PEACE!!!! SCREECH SMASH BOOM BURN
Warm hearted Christian man with values seeks chubby-cheeked pre-teen dicks ($$$)
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
WE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT IN THIS HOUSE!! SHUT UP MOM
WE ROCKETED TO JUPITER AND DISCOVERED IT'S ALL WET GAS AND WE COULDN'T LAND
WELCOME ${'username') WE HAVE RECOMMENDATIONS FOR YOU IN %%cookiedump%%\><DUH&
Welcome! We have recommendations for you in assault rifles, duct tape, bomb making materials.
WELPS - BACK TO BED UNTIL I CAN REMEMBER WHICH BUS TAKES ME TO WORK
WELPS - GUESS I'LL WRITE AN APPLESCRIPT AND TAKE OFF FOR THE DAY
WELPS, THE HEAD OF H.R. DIDN'T LIKE ME CALLING HER TITS AIR BAGS!!!!!
WE'VE REPLACED YOU WITH A PIECE OF SCOTCH TAPE ACROSS THE OPTION KEY
WHAT A GREAT DAY WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE!! I MEAN THAT!! *HURK* suicide
WHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD FLUSHED THE TOILET AT THE SAME TIME
WHAT IF YOU WERE SINKING IN QUICKSAND AND I THREW YOU A MOZARELLA STICK??
WHAT WOULD BE FUNNY WOULD BE TO REGISTER BONERS.COM
WHAT'S STRANGE IS WHY MY PANTS ARE DOWN AND THE LIGHTS ARE OFF
WHEN IS THAT GOSH DARN HARRY POTTER GOING TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ??
WHEN MIRRORS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL LOOK PRETTY AND WEAR MAKE UP
WHEN MY PAGER VIBRATES I GET A NOSE BLEED
WHEN YOU SAID LET'S GO OUT FOR A DRINK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT WITH AN ACTUAL GLASS
WHETHER YOU PLAY THEM ALONE OR IN GROUPS / ONLINE GAMES ARE INFINITE LOOPS
WHO ARE THESE IDIOT KIDS AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME DAD
WHO STUFFED MY STYROFOAM SOLAR SYSTEM SHOEBOX DIORAMA DOWN THE TOILET ??
WHO WANTS TO WATCH BUFFY WITH ME TONIGHT???? ANAL SEX FOR DESSERT!!!
WHONK WHONK OH GOD THE PIPE IT'S HITTING THE BRIDGE OF MY NOSE
WHY IS NOBODY READING / DISCUSSING MY ANIMANIACS FAN FICTION ???
WHY IS NOBOODY LAUGHING AT MY HILARIOUS WEBSITE
WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS DOPE MY STONISH MOCKERY???
WHY YES!!! I'D LOVE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR FANTASY BASKETBALL TEAM!!!
WIGGLE YOUR TOE!!! WIGGLE YOUR TOE!!! CHRIST JESUS MOM: SHUT UP
Win a FREE computer for $1840.00 plus $93.15 tax and $40.00 shipping
Win FREE school supplies, backpacks, bongs, bags of weed, pellet guns!
WIRED REJECTED MY ESSAY ABOUT HOW MUCH MY MOM SUCKS
WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS I AM THE WORST POKEMON TRAINER EVER
WITHOUT DONATIONS THERE CAN BE NO MORE FREE SODA IN THE BREAK ROOM
WITHOUT ME, THE INSTALLER DISKETTES WOULD JUST GO UNLABELED
WITHOUT RACISM, HOW WOULD WE TELL EACH OTHER APART ???
WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING THEY PUT THEIR MOPS TO
X X X PLAYBOY'S COLLEGE GIRLS I GAVE A BLACK EYE TO AND THEN TOOK MONEY FROM X X X
YES - BUT CAN IT REALLY HELP ME WEAVE DREAMS ???
YOU CAN ME TO THE TRASH CAN WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A GLANCE
You have been /banned from channel bAcKstrEEt_bOyZ.
YOU HAVE BEEN KICKED OFF CHANNEL #BRITNEYFANZ
You have been kicked off channel #GAY_WITH_KISSES
YOU HAVE THE **POTENTIAL** TO BE AN A STUDENT IF ONLY YOU'D just give me a blowjob
YOU LIED ABOUT DOCTOR WHO BEING IN YOUR PANTS POCKET
You may kiss the bride! **BLAM** OH GOD HE SHOT HIMSELF!!!! OH GOD HELP HELP
YOU SIR HAVE MADE US THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE QUADRANT
You will soon read a generic fortune cookie.
YOUR ORDER WITH AMAZON.COM HAS BEEN PROCESSED !!!!!!!!! *BONK* toilet bowl
YOUR PARTICIPLES AREN'T THE ONLY THING DANGLING
YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED ........... (open card) ........... TO SUCK COCK!!
YOU'RE MAKING BEING STONED AT ONE IN THE AFTERNOON UNPLEASANT
YOU'RE VISITOR 000000003!! THANKS FOR STOPPING IN!!
ZERO HITS TO MY LIVE FILK CYBERCAST ????????</code>
Tags: ballsatemyballspage, bitterness, blatt, culture, doom, honk, jerkcity, leisuretown, potstickers, tristanafarnon, web, yes
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