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The American Caliban

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Freedom Science Strikes Again [Mar. 7th, 2006|11:30 pm]
The American Caliban
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[Current Mood |cynical]

If you can't be part of the solution, there's always money to be made inventing a new problem. That's how we got new diseases like halitosis and ring around the collar. There's a product, so let's create a need: a disease is a good one.

Our enemies—waxy buildup, salmon going red in the can, the invisible filth on our faces—can only be defeated with the help of heroic product managers. This is an old story.

If what you're selling is the absence of something, the task is a little easier. Best way is to launch a crusade of health and morals against your target. I recommend just lying like crazy 'cause it works great. Today's example:


The caffeine-free products industry now has its own Reefer Madness, in which the most harmless and beneficial of stimulants turns out to be the worserest thing you can do! Just ask this scientician!

There's trouble in River City...

thanks to salome_st_john for this

[User Picture]From: 33mhz
2006-03-08 07:44 am (UTC)
Joseph Smith is pleased.
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[User Picture]From: inobetter
2006-03-08 08:18 am (UTC)
great just what i needed more awareness - I DRINK COFFEE - I am more aware than most - LOL
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[User Picture]From: changeng
2006-03-08 04:27 pm (UTC)
whatever happened to ring around the collar? was it cured and no one told us?
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[User Picture]From: nosrialleon
2006-03-08 04:55 pm (UTC)

Dude, you SHOUT it out:

see also:

or even, in a pinch:
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: changeng
2006-03-08 05:01 pm (UTC)

Re: Dude, you SHOUT it out:


there's no need to bring Ferris Bueller into this.

it's not like I said YO MAMA has ring around the collar.


she doesn't, does she?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)