The American Caliban (substitute) wrote,
The American Caliban
substitute

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Guaranteed not to contain any chicken jizz

While at Mother's Market (local health food nut store) today I was browsing around in the My Abdomen Hurts section for charcoal, which I found. I also found all the other stuff that may or may not make one's abdomen stop hurting: licorice root, ginger, dragon's foot oil, chelated monkulare niblets, etc. One of these products was listed as being contained in "hexane-free caplets".

Okay. Hexane is what we usually call "gasoline". Who the fuck puts gasoline in their medicines? Is this some health food store nutcase fear, or should I be concerned that the Tylenol or the K-Y Jelly or the inferior-brand Daily Vitamins I'm guzzling have Chevron Mid-Grade in them?
Tags: doom, food, fuel, healthfood, honk, hork, mothersmarket, organiccheetos, paranoia, tasteslikeburning
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