There's your problem. Someone set this thing to "dorkwad"!
Tomorrow I get an EEG. The object is to find out whether my disastrous brain freakouts have a measurable neurological element that might benefit from neurofeedback or other approaches. It does sound like I fit the profile for this kind of evaluation.
Neurofeedback might be recommended if this is the case; I'm not sure what else they might recommend if I have brain waves that are out of baseline.
This won't be anything like Laura K's ordeal; apparently it only takes an hour or so.
Even if it's a wash, I get a map of my brain. That's kinda cool.