|Hillary, get a copy editor.
||[Sep. 10th, 2005|01:37 pm]
The American Caliban
My mother, who is on all liberal mailing lists, received this note from Mrs. Clinton:
Please join Friends of Hillary and help me meet the dual challenges of fighting for our priorities in the Senate while running a strong but forceful campaign that will ensure my re-election by sending a donation of $25, $35, or $50.
AU: Strong and forceful are synonyms and should not be separated by "but".
AU: You set up a parallelism of "dual challenges" and then used "while" to join the clauses, leaving the reader hanging.
AU: The campaign appears to be sending the donation.