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They've come to take my music. - A Shout Out to My Pepys [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The American Caliban

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They've come to take my music. [Sep. 30th, 2010|05:38 pm]
The American Caliban
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I heard today that the Pogues were used in a Subaru commercial. Haven't seen it. I hope it's "Sally MacLennane." This isn't quite as bad/good as "Blister in the Sun" advertising fast food (BLURGH!) but it's a little surprising.

My generation (I'm 45) is now the target of semi-random generational marketing. Many of us are established and have extra money (note: if you are in this group please contact me). We're also dominating the marketing business itself right now, so the lazy ad person will remember what lit up the night in 1986 and think "that's what will nail it!"

In this spirit I offer some suggestions to those who want to reach the semi-lucrative market of Gen X middle-aged people, those of us who aren't $20K in debt with no house and chronic medical problems. For instance. Let's move on.

"Shipbuilding," by Elvis Costello. A couple dancing slowly in the sunset on the deck of a ship somewhere in the Caribbean. "Is it worth it?" he sings, as he swings her around in his arms and she smiles upwards. V/O describes selling points, ad ends with Elvis returning to sing "we should be diving for pearls."

"Lost in the Supermarket," by the Clash. Song plays as mopey 40ish housewife pushes cart around drab yet overlit market, looking at identical cans. Red tag catches her eye, prominently featuring supermarket loyalty card logo. She picks up a jar and smiles: it's Goober, a delight of her childhood. Outro with slowing fading bassline and slogan on screen: FOUND.

I was going to put some reggae in here but that's all been heavily prepped by Caribbean Vacation Culture and marijuana. On we go.

"I Need Love," LL Cool J. Middle-aged African-American professional guy driving his upscale SUV through traffic, frustrated. Everything goes wrong, traffic, drink spills on him, phone rings and it's his jerk boss, etc. Finally arrives home to wife and kids who open door both holding Cokes, and handing him one. The three enjoy the beverage on the porch. Slogan on screen, "COKE" fades into "LOVE."

"Senses Working Overtime," XTC. Attractive woman of a certain age clearly plagued by multiple allergies. Sneezing shot, eye rubbing shot, pulling back in terror from plate of food. OTC medicine introduced. Closing shot with happy woman enjoying some if not all of her sensuous experience in life.

"The One I Love," R.E.M. Flower delivery. Not much else to say here.

"I Will Dare," The Replacements. Parallel shots of hopeful-looking man and woman of a certain age looking at computer screens, reading emails, on the phone, meeting. Clearly some sparks in the air, shared laughter, fade into new couple walking down the street away from camera. Logo and url of dating service.

and finally,

"Debaser," Pixies. 2015 Hyundai Andalusia minivan.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: frobisher
2010-10-01 01:06 am (UTC)
In related news, I heard Lost In The Supermarket at a Starbucks the other day. Take that as you will.
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2010-10-01 01:18 am (UTC)
Yeah, the 'bux plays the less terrifying hits of the alt 80s now. Tom Waits from Rain Dogs etc.
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[User Picture]From: maeve66
2010-10-01 01:35 am (UTC)
Why are you doing this for free, is what I want to know? Sell out a little and get some cash for these brilliant ads.
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[User Picture]From: kafkateer
2010-10-01 02:27 am (UTC)

D:

on the one hand, OBVIOUSLY you could start a lucrative career killing my soul on TV

on the other hand is vomit. it's making it hard to type
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[User Picture]From: salome_st_john
2010-10-01 10:16 pm (UTC)

Re: D:

If I vomit on your non-vomit hand will that hand? No, probably not.

also HI
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[User Picture]From: kafkateer
2010-10-01 10:28 pm (UTC)

Re: D:

HELLO THERE AULD LANG SYNE PAL
it still kills me that i live like, an 90 whole minutes from you *yet we have never met*
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2010-10-01 11:12 pm (UTC)

Re: D:

This is because neither of you exist.
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[User Picture]From: kafkateer
2010-10-02 12:08 am (UTC)

Re: D:

GASP OF HORROR followed by sobbing. but not really
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[User Picture]From: salome_st_john
2010-10-02 03:36 am (UTC)

Re: D:

Imaginary friends are the best kind.
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[User Picture]From: salome_st_john
2010-10-02 03:35 am (UTC)

Re: D:

I NO RITE IT IS BECAUSE WE ARE MAKE BELIEVE INTERNET UNICORNS

Seriously, let's remedy this? Like soon? With food?
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[User Picture]From: kafkateer
2010-10-03 12:28 am (UTC)

Re: D:

this sounds really good! i am down there at least once a month. i know you are busy with your mom, etc. what does the 16th look like for you? we're also down for halloween, if that would be better.

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[User Picture]From: salome_st_john
2010-10-03 06:34 pm (UTC)

Re: D:

Hi Conrad we have taken over your page SORRY

The 16th might work. Let's EMAIL. Do you have my email? I think you emailed me right when my mom got sick and I was all THANK YOU but I forgot to write back because my head was exploding.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: salome_st_john
2010-10-01 10:17 pm (UTC)
I just hope it segues into 'Eaten By The Monster Of Love.'
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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2010-10-01 06:42 am (UTC)
When I first saw the commercial with Iggy Pop's Lust for Life as a cruise ship ad I stopped paying attention.

Yours are just as good/horrific.

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[User Picture]From: miss_geek
2010-10-01 07:50 am (UTC)
Nothing says "buy me!" quite like a life of addiction...
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[User Picture]From: snuh
2010-10-01 06:01 pm (UTC)
All Things Must Pass: Older office worker rubs pain-filled eyes while looking at employee rest room as concerned boss watches. Asks employee if he'll have the Milligan account proposal ready in the morning, then plops a box of Ex-Lax down on desk saying "forget those rest room comebacks, time to use ex-lax - here's to sitting down on the job!"

background music rises and lyrics now heard...

So I must be on my way and face another day
Now when the constipation comes at prime-time
I use Ex-Lax and take it away
With evacuations arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this gray
All things must pass, all things must pass away
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[User Picture]From: substitute
2010-10-01 11:10 pm (UTC)
ow!!!
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From: (Anonymous)
2010-10-02 05:11 am (UTC)
hi this is mike/switchstatement.

anyway i think i keep hearing this in a commercial when my roommates are watching tv, but it might be a different version.

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[User Picture]From: substitute
2010-10-02 05:15 am (UTC)
Wow, seems like a weird choice for selling anything but cheap beer and t-shirts.
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